How do you know when stress is becoming too much?
You can still turn up, do the job and look capable while paying a growing cost to keep it all together.
A single difficult day does not tell the whole story. Look instead for changes that keep showing up: what sleep is like, how you respond at home, what you need to get through a shift and whether life outside work is getting smaller. The question is less “Am I coping?” and more “What is coping costing me?”
Notice the changes, not just the workload
- Sleep and energy: you are tired but cannot settle, or you wake already bracing for the day.
- Mood and patience: small requests feel enormous; you snap, withdraw or feel unusually flat.
- Attention: your mind keeps replaying events or jumping ahead to what could go wrong.
- Connection: conversations, interests and time with people you care about start to disappear.
- Coping habits: alcohol, food, scrolling or constant busyness become the main way you switch off.
These signs can have many causes. They are prompts to pay attention, not a way to diagnose yourself or someone else.
Try a short, honest check-in
Write down three answers: What has changed? How long has it been going on? What is it affecting? Keep the answers concrete. “I have slept poorly for three weeks and I’m avoiding everyone after work” gives you a clearer starting point than “I’m just stressed.”
Then choose one useful action today: tell someone you trust what you have noticed, book a GP appointment, make room for sleep, or use a short reset to create enough space for the next decision. If you are unsure what support fits, a GP or qualified mental health professional can help you work that out.
Do not wait for a crisis to ask
You do not need a diagnosis or a perfect explanation. “Something has changed and I don’t feel like myself lately” is enough to begin a conversation. If your safety or functioning is getting worse, seek professional help promptly. If anyone is in immediate danger, call emergency services.
By Anthony Pymm, serving Australian Detective Sergeant and founder of Healing Behind the Badge Consulting. General education and lived experience; not diagnosis or individual medical advice. Support information.