What can a leader do when someone is struggling?
A good check-in begins with what you have noticed, makes room for the person’s response and leads to a practical next step.
In high-pressure teams, being busy or capable can hide a lot. A team member might keep performing while withdrawing from colleagues, losing patience or looking exhausted. A manager cannot diagnose the reason. A manager can notice a change, have a respectful conversation and help the person access appropriate support.
Talk in private, with care
Choose a quiet time and describe observations rather than labels: “You seem more worn down than usual and I’ve noticed you’ve been working back a lot. How are things going?” Leave space for an answer. The person may not be ready to talk; offer another time and follow through.
Ask what support would be useful now. You may be able to adjust immediate workload, clarify priorities, provide leave information or explain employee support pathways. Do not promise confidentiality beyond what your role and workplace processes allow. If there is an immediate safety concern, follow your organisation’s emergency procedures.
Look at the work as well as the person
A conversation about wellbeing can fall flat if nothing changes around the person. Consider workload, rostering, unresolved conflict, unclear expectations and whether people can raise concerns without being dismissed. Invite feedback and explain what you can act on. Do not make the individual responsible for repairing a team problem on their own.
Keep your role clear
- Listen without trying to diagnose or provide therapy.
- Explain support options clearly, including professional help where appropriate.
- Agree on a specific follow-up date rather than leaving it at “my door is always open.”
- Record and escalate concerns according to your role, privacy obligations and workplace policy.
- Check whether the team’s systems are contributing to the pressure.
Some conversations will require professional guidance, particularly when the person’s functioning or safety is deteriorating. Leaders can be an important first point of contact, but should not be the only support available.
By Anthony Pymm, serving Australian Detective Sergeant and founder of Healing Behind the Badge Consulting. General education and lived experience; not clinical, employment or legal advice. Support information.